January is National Stalking Awareness Month.

Stalking is real.
It can happen to anyone.
It’s dangerous.
And it’s a crime.

Find out more at www.ncvc.org/src

Here’s a public service announcement created by students of  the University of Maryland. Share it with every man you know.

NH has lost three women to domestic violence in the last two months. This is unacceptable.  Seven children are now without parents because of the violent acts committed by their fathers. This is a level of violence we never expect to have to cope with on a family level yet one in four NH women experience physical violence in their lifetime at the hands of their partners. How do we explain to these children that their mothers were killed by their fathers?

The question has been raised: could this have been prevented? Fingers have  already been pointed in anger as the community and the families struggle to make sense of this. The fact remains that these men were determined to control their partners at any cost. They had already developed and received reinforcement for using controlling thinking and abusive behavior. They had not been challenged or experienced any consequences when they became violent.

How can we as a community be better at recognizing violence for what it is and stepping up when we witness it? Bystander involvement is pivotal in recognizing and stopping domestic violence. It is no longer okay to turn a deaf ear the shots and shoves heard through the wall. We start in pre-school teeling kids that it is not okay to put your hands on someone else without their permission. When did that change if you were 15? 20? or 80? and just because you are in a relationship with that person?

Be a concerned neighbor. If someone looks like theyare in trouble, they probably are. Tell your neighbor: I have noticed a lot of yelling lately, if you ever need help, I’m here for you. You might be surprised by their answer. They may tell you they already have a protective order and would you call the police next time.

It’s kind of like bullying, when one person stands up to a bully, they usually get knocked down. But if the entire playground stands up to the bully, the bully needs to find a new way to be on the playground. It’s the same for people who use battering behavior. Stand up to them and they will have to learn a new way.